I have an abnormal personality. No wait... don't do the, "awe Finger, no, you're great, you have nothing to worry about" crap. I know I'm a little screwy in the head, but I'm okay with it because I always thought that was part of my Charming Finger Appeal. So how am I a little screwy you may be wondering? Well grab yourself some Nestles Morsels and hunker down for a little Psych 101...
I love making people happy.
...well, that's kind of it. I would say I'm a people pleaser, but that's not exactly it. If you piss me off I'll kick your ass till my foot bleeds. But people I love; I would bend over backwards for them until my back broke and then give them that chunk of back as a remembrance naming it Stan. So, I've spent the first 28 years of my life in the constant struggle between doing what I know people want me to do and doing what I want to do, the latter rarely winning this death match.
Now, as I give in and devour a retched Mega Kit Kat, I stare at my computer screen contemplating where to begin in my sordid tale of lies, deceit and cross dressing button lickers.
I love making people happy.
...well, that's kind of it. I would say I'm a people pleaser, but that's not exactly it. If you piss me off I'll kick your ass till my foot bleeds. But people I love; I would bend over backwards for them until my back broke and then give them that chunk of back as a remembrance naming it Stan. So, I've spent the first 28 years of my life in the constant struggle between doing what I know people want me to do and doing what I want to do, the latter rarely winning this death match.
Now, as I give in and devour a retched Mega Kit Kat, I stare at my computer screen contemplating where to begin in my sordid tale of lies, deceit and cross dressing button lickers.
I've decided to begin at the end. That's right I never do anything normal so why start here. Lets keep the past the past and make a new bright, shiny, baby butt future! I'm vowing off loser men! You hear me half-wit, narcissistic, egomaniacle, slothful, ass lickers?
Why do we let ourselves get hurt when we could just have better screening processes? So, in the spirit of experimentation and bettering relationship-kind, I have decided to set in motion a new chain of psychotic ideas. The next time I meet a man that is interested, I am going to view it as a screening process, asking all the logical questions that later bite me in the ass. Then I will post it here, so you my lovelies can determine for me if he is worthy or not. Since I have been making horrible decisions for the last 28 years, why not give the reading public a go at it, right?Let the games BEGIN!
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4 comments:
you get suggestions finger....ya just like to let yourself get burned before you believe them for some reason?!? Kwizbee has been lookin out for ya...trust him next time....give it a shot dammit could it possibly get any worse?
Sweet! I've always wanted to give unwanted dating advice to someone else.
Now I can help you choose a bf, even though no one will be good enough for my standards for you. You are my blog wife, after all.
Finger points in a new direction. You're changing the search terms. You rock!
Some friends of mine have another way of describing the urge to make people happy: "co-dependence". I struggle with that too. Learning to avoid that is a wise thing to do. Trust me.
kwizbee - everyone needs to experience being burned, its part of life. i dont regret anything. Im just done with it now, lol!
Andy - oh my blog husband, i strive for the day i meet a man with have the wonderfulness as my blog husband. and the ability to still look manly in a snuggie.
an0m0ly - i took your advice! search terms have changed. thanks for always given me a shoulder.
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